A tribute to yet another one of my heroes.

A tribute to the princess that subconsciously taught me literally everything i ever need to know in life.

As I write this my hands are frozen and my heart is empty,because thanks to this shit show of a year which i can only describe as something that even satan didn't want,yet another one of my heroes has sadly passed,someone that in my mind was going to live on forever and still be the women that I've adored since i was seven years old.

 When my uncle decided that i had to watch all the star wars films in preparation of revenge of the sith being released and that of course is my one and only Carrie Fisher.

Carrie Fisher has been someone i adore and someone I've loved for as long as i can remember,someone that always ceases to me amaze me in every way possible,even if it was just her going on a chat show with her dog,she was one of the very few people that i thought would still be here in many years to come,but of course 2016 had to take her as well because that's the sort of golden thing that this year would do,because we clearly haven't lost everyone great this year already.

Now I'm aware that this will seem pretty pathetic to people that don't really know me or are aware of my love for Star Wars,but when someone and something has been a part of your life and a part of the person you are today,that just so happens to be sitting in they garden freezing they ass off,chain smoking like there's no tomorrow and sobbing to the new hope score,it's hard not to be this upset.

 Because she was and will always be the princess that made me not want to be like all the other little girls instead I wanted to be her and to be fair I still do want to be her eleven years later,every christmas i would ask for a model of the Death Star (i still don't have one either),she was the princess that didn't wait for her Prince Charming (but she did get him in the end) she was the princess that showed me that you didn't need to rely on anyone to do things for you and to believe in yourself and what you can be capable of. 

And again i know this seems pathetic to so many people but not to me,I feel like another part of my heart has been broken and I'm not really sure how much my heart can take because I've already lost four other people that were and will always be a huge part of my life,and now I'm having to add to that list once again.

Carrie is someone that i will always always admire for her work and for the amount of things she had to deal with from drugs to mental health,her childhood and of course the wonderfully sexist world of hollywood.

And subconsciously she helped me with dealing with my own problems and self doubt because seeing her and seeing her do all the things she wanted to do despite she was told no,it made me want to try and do everything that I want to because,if Carrie Fisher can do everything she's  ever done then so can i.

So with a extremely heavy heart I'm now going to watch all star wars films for I'm pretty sure the 100th time and cry some more.

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